2/25/15

DAILYSASS Guide to Winter

Dear Pussycats,

So I'm sure many of you know that I'm from Honolulu, and this is not only my first bitter winter ever, but my first winter ever, period.

So here are a few thoughts I've had over the past few months:

I can't remember the last time I had an iced coffee.

Gloves are like Milli Vanilli or Peanuts and Butter - better together than apart. One glove literally means nothing to you unless you want to do some sort of weird MJ tribute.

You will find yourself violently angry at anyone when freezing. It's kind of like Pedestrian road rage - someone who might accidentally bump into you trying to grab the Half and Half at Starbucks will become Voldemort.

Delivery Food is the greatest invention since the Boy band, and (y'all know how much I love me some Zayn).

Snowboots are actually essential. Doc Martens are completely POINTLESS, the icy streets of NY will become a damn slip-and-slide if you don't have the proper (and usually always ugly) equipment. 

MOISTURIZE MOISTURIZE MOISTURIZE, because you will turn into a scaly Godzilla baby in 2 seconds if you don't.

I can't remember the last time I had swamp ass, or heavily perspired for that matter (which is actually the bomb).

Cuddlebuddys are essential.

If you double-up on pairs of tights, you can still wear your favorite summer dresses and not totally hate yourself.

I never thought I'd look forward to 30 degree weather, but compared to 2 degrees, I'm in Sandals Jamaica.

And despite the fact that I look ridiculously cute in winter wear (see above photo), I'm ready for my little piggies to see the sun again.

What are your tips and thoughts this winter?
xoxo
Caelan

2/24/15

Happiness...My Fickle Friend

Dear Pussycats,

Happiness has been a fickle friend of mine for years now, and only after having a conversation with an unlikely friend, I’ve finally begun to understand a little bit more about happiness, and a lot more about myself.

To begin this story, I need to take it all the way back to the day I was born. Out of the womb, my mother said I’ve always been a thinker. She explained that I had a very concerned look on my face, like I had a million things on my mind, I wasn’t sad neccessarily, but I was thinking.

Fast-forward to being a young child, where I unfortunately got stuck with the endearing nickname “stink” based off my “stinky personality.” There are and have always been two huge sides of me that constantly contradict each other. 

I am a bubbly person, I want to be everyone’s best friend, I enjoy making people laugh and smile... But I can also be mean, sad, I used to be the best smack talker you’ve ever seen, and I’m prone to jealousy, because inside I get these pangs of sadness and anger.

For someone who spends a majority of my day smiling and laughing, I’m very self-critical and experience waves of sadness throughout my month or even day (and not just during that time of the month, you pig). I frazzle easily, I get irritable often, and I feel like I'm constantly letting others and myself down.

I get jealous, irritated, and judgmental over people that I used to referred to as “dummy dreamers” or people who seem a little too idealistic about life, almost because I physically cannot think that way.

I’m more pessimistic than optimistic under the surface, and for my entire life all I wanted was perfection. When I was in middle school I worshiped young female celebrities for their clothes, boyfriends and what I believed was “perfect life.” Even though I was aware that my life wasn’t perfect, I genuinely believed that someday my life would be perfect, and I would hit a happiness plateau and that would be it. Done. Perfect life. Happiness, all-day every-day. Donezo.

Part of this might have to do with the fact that I idolized my mother for her calm temper, classic elegance and warm heart (shout out to my mom, Happy belated Birthday mama). As a young child I assumed when I grew up I would be just like her, with my dream job, living in an amazing city and have a ridiculously calm and cool demeanor, which was nothing like my constantly turnt/over enthusiastic/Foot-in-mouth personality. 

When I was 10 I even bought a mini tweed Hilary Clinton-type matching pantsuit and would run around my room with my mom’s old briefcase acting like I was super busy and pretending I got calls on my giant brick nokia cellphone (you know the one with light up buttons and the game snake on it?). Just pretending I had a dreamy life, all while beating myself up over the fact that I was the farthest thing from perfection.

My quest for perfection manifested itself in many different ways. I have had MANY short-lived relationships, because the second it wasn’t peaches, cream and puppy-dog-feels, I immediately thought, “well, this isn’t perfect, I’m not happy, he must be the reason DONE.” This also could have to do with me settling for the first guy who liked me, because being liked feels good, and I am addicted to any good-feel I attain.

If you’ve been reading my blog over the years, you might remember September 2011 – February 2013 and my ever-changing hair colors and random piercings. I kept trying to change my exterior appearance because maybe then I’d be happy.

This happiness void in my heart was filled with instant fixes like sprinkles donuts and hugs from my mom. It was filled with booty calls and new clothes. However, the pothole in my heart was never quite filled.

I kept thinking when I’m out of high school I’ll be happy. When I have a new job I’ll be happy. When I’m out of retail I’ll be happy. When I have a boyfriend I’ll be happy. When I move to New York I’ll be happy. When I have a new boyfriend I’ll be happy. When I’m done with school I’ll be happy. When I have a better job I’ll be happy.

But recently I found myself sad again. “This makes no sense” I thought, I have a job at where I make good money and get pretty dresses, I have an amazing internship at Marc Jacobs where I get to write for an amazing team, I live in New York, I have great friends and I even have a sweet boo…but I’m still sad.

Talking with that unlikely friend made me realize, it might just have been me this whole time (and a little bit of the weather, shout out to this ridiculous bitter cold).

Having these unrealistic EXTREMELY HIGH expectations for myself has made me miserable my whole life.  There is no hair color or boyfriend or job that can make me happy if I can’t even appreciate what I have now.

I know this may be obvious, and on one whole afterschool-Reading-Rainbow-special way, I totally am aware that unrealistic expectations are no good. I shouldn’t put too much pressure on myself and I should be proud of the person that I am. Hannah Montanna totally tried to teach me that “nobody’s perfect” and that I need to work it, but maybe working it isn’t so simple.

I’m sure there is some statistic in the world about how many of us are actually pessimists, and maybe you could even constitute my symptoms as a sign of acute depression, but I wanted to write this to see if anyone else feels the way I do and has had a similar revelation recently. It also really makes me sad that I haven’t been inspired to write lately, which ties into these sad winter vibes I’ve been having.

Part of me still wants to blame sitcoms, fashion magazines and even tumblr for these unrealistic expectations, but we have to remember that that stuff has been there, and will always be there, and that new Kenzo sweater, or hair color, or city, or soy candle that smells like dreams will not fix your problems (they might just make your financial issues worse).

So here are a few more tips for how to feel better when you’re sad:

1)   ALWAYS be kind to Walgreens/Target/CVS employees (or any cashier, barista or retail associate) - I always be sure to ask them how their days is going, be patient with them and then wish them a great day, which sounds something like “I hope you have a great evening and you don’t have to deal with any mean, annoying people.”

2)   Make sure you have You-Time – I recently took myself on a date that involved Mexican food and lush facemasks while in beautiful lingerie. Sometimes when you’re sad it’s good to go a long time without talking, it always makes me feel better. This also includes forcing yourself to do something you love, such as writing for me, even if nothing is flowing, just try.

3)   Clean – omg clean zone, clean brain in my opinion. I can never be REALLY sad when my room is clean and my candles are burning and I’m cozy in bed.

4) Cry in the Shower- you know how good that is, I don't even have to tell you.

5)   Call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile or someone who matters a lot to you – it will A) distract you from your ish and b) remind you that you are loved and that you matter.

6)   Lastly, don’t beat yourself up – do this one for me, as a girl who constantly told myself that I wasn’t good enough, be kind to yourself, give yourself a lot of hugs and moisturizer and treat yourself inside and out like the princess you are.


I hope I helped just a tiny bit,

xoxo
Caelan

P.S. Listening to One Direction doesn’t hurt. Hehe.

2/1/15

~February Vibes~ + Tips!

Photo Credit: Marc by Marc Jacobs purchase book mark here
Dear Pussycats,

Today marks a very special day for me! Call me a complete narcissist, but today officially marks my favorite month ever, not only is it Black History Month and Valentines day ~lurv month, but it is also my birthday month, which, if you know me at all, it's kind of a big deal.

(Also important, I am by no means equating my birthday and valentines day with Black History month, it is EXTREMELY important to look at the deplorable history of this nation and remember the amazing people who rose above diversity and racist insanity,and made our world a better place especially with the recent events in Furgesson and just anytime you turn on the damn news.)

I haven't written in awhile, but today marks a great opportunity to get back into the writing/blogging game, because why not!

To start this month off right, I've made a list of things I've learned over the past few months of living by myself, that might help you out.

1) Moisturize your feet and wear socks to sleep - I promise you, your feet will transform from dinofeet to babybuttfeet right before your very eyes.

2) Precut Vegetables are pretty fucking amazing - It will cut your cooking time in half (see what I did there) throw them into a pan, marinate and you instantly have something healthy and yummy ANDDD who the eff knows how to cut an onion correctly anyway.

3) If you're ever late for work or school DO NOT SAY ANYTHING - If you make a big deal about it with a list of excuses,you are making a mental note in your manager or bosses head that you were late and they will remember it. Multiply that by however many times you weren't quite able to hop up out of bed and turn your swag on-on time, and they'll forever think you aren't the punctual princess you truly are. Just slip in, don't say anything and they probably didn't notice anyway.

4) If you ever mess up, just apologize - Every time I've done goffed and ran off a list of excuses for why I've done goofed, I've learned the hard way that that was not Gucci. Literally NO ONE wants to hear your excuses. Just give an earnest apology without any false promises of the "next time" and just make a mental note to yourself to try to do better next time. It's okay to mess up guys, life is hard sometimes.

5)Proof reading is NOT for chumps - Even if grammar isn't your forte,(which it still isn't necessarily for me) proof reading is important, and 99% of the time, I do find a mistake when I look back.

6) Do not set multiple alarms - Set one and just wake the fuck up! Try to remember how good it feels to wear your favorite pink robe, sip your coffee leisurely and actually enjoy your morning while the sun rises and says "what's good?" to you. You'll have time to get full glitz, make yourself a yummy healthy lunch and you probably won't forget anything you might actually need.

7) Before leaving your house repeat the mantra, "Wallet, Phone, Keys,is everything potentially flammable unplugged or extinguished?" - this goes without saying

8) There's no kind way to say "I wasn't talking to you" - so don't beat yourself up if you feel like you just came across as a rude wench.

9) It is kind of rude to stop people mid story and say "you've told me that story before" - either sit through it again when amongst company that hasn't heard the story, or if you're alone,politely chime in with something like "oh yes, the time you rode the Jetski with Mickey Rourke, I love that story!"

10) When there is a grey cloud hanging over your head, it is 100% okay to put on sweats and give up for the day - some days are just not you days, and knowing when to give up is fundamental in your personal health and well being.

That being said, I want this month to be a month of self love and introspection. I want to write a lot, take a lot of bubble baths and take Jane Austen-like pensive walks. I want to get to the root of my troubled feelings and grey cloud vibes and cheer myself up from the inside out.

Bonus tip: If Netflix asks you "Are you Still Watching *insert TV show*" more than 1, it probably means you should get off your arse and do something productive. Netflix IS judging you.

I hope you have a great February and tune into some major tips that I will be bringing out. Also don't think I just proposed Sex and the Awkward Girl, this month I will tell even more tinder date horror stories <3

Keep it sassy,
xoxo
Caelan aka Sasssquatch

1/2/15

It's 2015, What the Eff!

Dear Pussycats,

I can't believe it's 2015 already, like actually though, what the eff you guys!
It seems like just yesterday I was watching Back to the Future 2 and looking forward to 2015 for pizza hydrators, while waiting for Tupac to come back from the dead, and look at me now...without either of those things...and throughly disappointed :(

Anywho, I meant to give you an update when I reached 6 months living in New York. I meant to give you an update when I was featured on BBC's World Have Your Say discussing Ferguson. I meant to give you an update when I met a really dreamy boy. I meant to give you an update when I got offered a position writing copy for Marc Jacobs corporate. I meant to give you an update when my blog reached it's 4 year anniversary. I'VE BEEN MEANING TO GIVE YOU AN UPDATE, PERIOD.

But now, as I sit here, in my 2002-Paris Hilton-esque Ugg Boots, surrounded by clean laundry, I finally have a moment to pause and reflect.

I love this blog more than anything in the world, I love you readers more than I love donuts, and I can't believe that on December 24th 2014, I reached 4 YEARS on this blog (not to mention 7 months living in New York).

These four years have been absolutely insane for me. I began this blogging journey as a day-dreaming drooling 17-year-old senior in High School, and now I'm a college graduate who lives and writes in Brooklyn, New York. I didn't have a very eventful High School career (Or at least, I'd like to forget most of it anyway) and as corny as this sounds, I think I started this blog right around the time my life actually begun, and it's been pretty fucking great so far.

This blog has been there for me through countless heart-aches, heartbreaks, major holidays and life events, traveling, and even through the tragic death of a few friends. Having this outlet as constant in my life has proven invaluable to me and my development as a semi-sweet human morsel.

I had no intention of turing this piece into a corny-ass, Class President Graduation speech about how in these four years we've grown so much, and how we'll remember these moments 4eva and we're setting off into a sea possibilities, but in a way this does sort of feel like equally as big of a milestone.

Thinking about how far I've come since I began this blog four years ago, makes me realize that I'm fucking capable. Long gone are my days of endlessly scrolling on tumblr, dreaming of a life beyond mine and just hoping that I'd one day finish school, live in New York, and a gal about town someday. While my days are still sometimes sad, and I spend more evenings than I'd like to admit, watching Netflix and wearing fat pants, I've done a lot and I'm fucking excited for the future.

Look forward to me yearly New Years Resolution video coming to this blog soon.

And lets make a good 2015 together! Sound good? SOUNDS GOOD~

 keep it sassy,
xoxo
Sasssquatch

12/16/14

Christmas Music!

Dear Pussycats,
If you've been reading my blog for a long time, you'd know I don't really eff with Christmas music. This is in part to: 1) Working retail 3 christmas' in a row and being forced to listen to Christmas music on loop, 2) I don't like music that tells me how to feel, 3) My darling Christmas-Angel sister Hayley blasting Christmas music the day after Halloween since 99'.

HOWEVER, even I'm not a total Ebenezer Grinch and there is a small list of Christmas songs that I totally get down to.

1) Vince Guaraldi Trio - Christmas Time is Here 

This song with or without vocals is just pure goodness and pure christmas joy. Whether it's my unadulterated love with The Peanuts, or the fact that the instrumental version of this song was used for sad George Michael Bluth when he would walk away with his head sullen, this song is my FAVORITE around this time of year.

2) Dolly Parton - Hard Candy Christmas

I wrote an ENTIRE post on my blog about this song 2 years ago on my blog click here I like this song because it feels the Christmas-time sad feels that do exist.

3) Destiny's Child - 8 Days of Christmas

Because if Chloe shades, a diamond belly ring and a Destiny's Child reunion aren't on the top of your wishlist, I actually don't know what is. Even though this is more of a typical pop christmas song, anything is better with Beyonce, it's just fact. Also I'd gladly take Michelle Williams rock-hard abs for christmas too Santa, thank you!

4) Justin Bieber - Mistletoe

Oh I know, you hate me right now. But before Zayn Malik stole my heart with one loose strand of hair, I was a belieber. This song is so cute, randomly kinda rastafari sounding and it reminds me of my Freshman year of College and singing this with my dormmates wasted and it just being a stupid good time. This might've been my favorite Bieber because now former Beliebers and I are just looking at him very dissapointed. ALSO WHY HASN'T ONE DIRECTION COME OUT WITH A CHRISTMAS ALBUM YET!!! UGH!

5) Fall Out Boy - Yule Shoot Your Eye Out 

This is literally my FAVORITE Christmas song of all time at this point. I had a huge Fall Out Boy phase back in the day and I still love them so much to the day. I just love that this isn't just a sad Christmas song, but like an actively angry one. I had a really sad Christmas a few years back and this song really helped me get through it and I will always be thankful for Patrick Stump and his darling bandmates for creating this song. I love how witty the title is, I love how easy this song is to harmonize with, just yes yes all over with this song YES.

Well that's about the only songs I can handle other than some smooth jazz christmas. So enjoy! Also enjoy this video of the One Directions boys dancing really awkwardly to Michael Buble's "White Christmas"



Have a great day and wish me luck studying all day...ugh
Keep it sassy,
xoxox
Sasssquatch aka Caelan

Also check out Jess and Sophie's playlists

12/15/14

7 Reasons why Being Single Around the Holidays is AWESOME

Photo by the INCREDIBLE Amanda Adam
Dear Pussycats,
For our spectacular 12-days-of-christmas extravaganza, we decided today was a free-day, and since I've been so interested in love and romance lately (and there are only about 149019301930 romantic-comedies based around the holiday season), I thought I'd write about love around the holidays (or lack there of)!

Moving to a cold city for the first time I was completely unaware of the fact that it is apparently "cuffing season," (or at least that's what the kids are calling it). "Cuffing season"  is the cold time of the year when everyone starts looking for a bae to cuddle with (or get tied down to, aka handCUFFED), because if you're like me, your pre-war building's heaters turn on sporadically based on the mood of your landlord.

That being said, being my first christmas season to "cuff" (not sure if I'm using that correctly), I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be single around the holidays.

Pretty much every christmas I've been single (actually every christmas) and since I feel like it's in the same regard as Valentines Day for making single people feel like absolute crap on the holidays, I thought I'd make you a list of 7 reasons why being single around the holidays is actually the best thing ever.

1) You Can Eat Whatever You Want: Now I'm a firm believer that you should be doing that in a relationship regardless, but I know some self-conscious bbs who feel awkward eating around their baes, or they'd be embarrassed if their boo knew that they could put away half of a honey-glazed ham all by themselves (you should never be embarrassed by ham consumption...ever). SO when you're single you get to devour  all the cookies, potluck-style holiday-party mac n cheese, roasted animals and whatever else your heart desires because GUESS WHAT, it's the end of the year, you will start fresh at 2015 (only if you want) and EVERYONE looks cute and thin when bundled up like the Michelin Man in their down-coats.

2) You Can Focus on Who Matters - Family: I mean, at the end of the day I think you will be happier focusing on those who have been there through all of your relationships and those people are your family. And by family I don't necessarily mean those who you share genes or jeans with. I mean the network of people who are on YOUR team. And when I say "your team" I don't mean, "as opposed to another persons team," I just mean, the people who are rooting for you (just like Tyra roots for you). This tribe of people who love you and support you no matter what are EVERYTHING, so make sure to spend time with them and express that you care!

3) Less Christmas Presents to Buy: I don't know about y'all, but I always found that buying presents for a significant other is one of the most difficult things to do ever. Since I'm closer to the hetero-side of the Kinsy scale, I'm usually buying presents for people of the male variety - and omg, I don't know what they want! Sports things? Video game things? One Direction's entire discography (oh wait that's for me hehe). I'm sure girl's aren't any easier to shop for

4) Excellent Transitional Time to the New Year and Spring: You don't have to worry about any potential breakups ruining your new year and your new you (and yes, I am one of those people who believe that stuff). You get to enjoy the yummy time and focus 100% on you, your dreams and what YOU want for the New Year, what's better than that!?

5) Clash of Traditions: You don't have to worry about whether their holiday traditions clash with yours. I have a friend who got in a fight with her bf on christmas day (the most magical day of the year) for that very reason, they had too many prior obligations and traditions that the two of them together couldn't do all on the same day!

6) You don't have to meet his family: I mean...do I even need to explain this

Lastly and most importantly...

7) You don't have to worry about embarrassing anyone but yourself when you get waisted at a holiday party. Cause who needs that, am I right?

So pussycats,
Drink up, party up, and cuff your damn self!
Keep it sassy,
xoxoxo
Sasssquatch aka Caelan

12/14/14

Christmas Wishlist!

Dear Pussycats,

I'm kind of the worst christmas-wish-list-maker ever. Can we talk about how cute and perfectly pinterest-y both Sophie and Jess's wishlists are on their blog? I feel like my blog is the sloppy, free-loading cousin that smells vaguely Doritos equivalent to their blogs - because it's not that I don't want things, I just havent thought about them till right now, and I'm no where near as organized as these babes.

HOWEVER. I can always think of things I need, although they might be vaguely boring and potentially unoriginal.

1) A Fjallraven Backpack: But the important specification is that it has to be able to fit my 17-inch Macbook pro. My scrub-self doesn't have any bags that fit my computer except the bag I was given from work, and now that thing is BEAT UP. I would gladly take a Herschel supply black backpack as well.

2) Tenga Iroha Yuki Massager: So believe it or not pussycats, but I don't own, nor have I ever owned a vibrator. I know, I know it's weird, but to be honest they seem so intimidating and scary and there are so many options it's really overwhelming! But I stumbled upon this adorable brand that makes these really cute, really unassuming, really quiet vibrators and I just have to have one. Also check out their commercial, it's totally my aesthetic, the vibrators look like something out of a Miyazaki film!

3) Grey American Apparel Fisherman Sweater: I want this for the sole reason that it's the sweater featured in One Direction's "You and I" music video, and I would tell all my friends that my boo Zayn gave it to me.

4) Zayn Malik Broach: Speaking of my boy Zayn...I need this

5) Be My Baby Banner: I need stuff for my walls, seriously you guys my walls are vaguely depressing and I need all the posters and banners that I can find!

6) A Screen Print of Honolulu: I miss home more often than I'd like to admit, and I find this screen print to be just beautiful! Also again, I NEED WALL STUFF GUYS!

7) Male Tears Mug: Because who wouldn't want to drink a huge cup of Male Tears every morning!

Other things I'd gladly take: books, bralettes, magazine subscriptions, any sort of blouses, heat-tech anything, hugs, lipstick,  Zayn Malik, hand written letters, smooches, any member of my family to hang out with me and one cuddle with my cat Netflix!

What is on your christmas wish list?
let me know down below~
Have a very merry christmas
please keep it sassy,
xoxox
Sasssquatch aka Caelan