7/9/18

The Smell of The Summer


This is a post I wrote in a blog writing class of mine during the summer of 2016 (the summer with the broken foot lol).

As I hobble down the cobbled and uneven streets of SoHo with uncomfortable crutches and a medical boot on my right foot, I’m hit with a sweet, filthy scent of nostalgia. Carefully walking over a subway grate, a cloud of subway exhaust that smells vaguely marshmallow-y surrounds me. It’s so strange that this dirty, chemical-filled puff, that is actively destroying my lungs, will without a doubt always bring a smile to my face.

This specific scent instantly brings me back to my first summer in New York City. I was a 14-year-old metal-mouth who convinced my mom to allow me to tag along on my sister’s journey to theatre school all the way from Honolulu. My mom and I would wander around the city without much to do, while I soaked in every New York minute imaginable. "Showtime" kids on the subway dazzled me, I coveted my yellow metrocard, and the bright lights of Times Square had me in awe (the colorful smells, not so much).

I dreamt of a life where this was my reality. It was easy you see, in my dream life I would have an amazing job that made me tons of money, a boyfriend who looked like a Jonas Brother, and an apartment on top of a Dunkin Donuts, it would all be perfect.

While I currently struggle to walk from my Brooklyn apartment (with no outlets in the bathroom) to my customer service job (where yes, I do wear a headset), it’s very easy to be discouraged. This clearly wasn’t the New York that my 14-year-old self would’ve signed up for. And while I constantly worry that New York is turning me into a jaded asshole, every time I get a wiff of the smelly ole subway exhaust I’m reminded that New York can occasionally be pretty sweet, and no matter what, 14-year-old Caelan would be totally “freaking excited” to be here, crutches and all.

7/6/18

INSTAGRAM MAKES ME SAD.

Hey Pussycats,

ENJOY DIS VID

Here are the links to everything I talked about in this video: Rainbow Smiley Hook Latch Kit: https://bit.ly/2uaR6Vv Astrology Embroidery Kit: https://etsy.me/2KPfKFA Monstera Embroidery Kit: https://amzn.to/2NxNhCK Water Color set: https://amzn.to/2IYJT0g

Pls feel free to leave a comment anywhere you like about how you distract yourself from day to day sad vibes.

LOVE AND SASS
KK

6/24/18

Depression and Trauma SUCK

Hey guysssss,

This was REALLY REALLY hard to make, but I feel a lot better that I did. If you wanna chat feel free to contact me in the comments, on Instagram or through the contact button on this blog. We're gonna be alright.

6/7/18

~Lif3 uPd8 2018~


HEY, PUSSYCATS! It's been awhile.

Here is a lil video explaining where I've been for the past couple of years. I've missed this community and you all so terribly so let's start making content again? Okay? I'M SO READY FOR THIS!

Keep it sassy,
KK

8/5/17

SUMMERTIME SUCKS

Hey Pussycats,

SO, I know I didn't post yesterday or the day before, BUT I HAVE EXCUSES.

I started writing this really funny piece on Thursday that I actually think I'm going to try to pitch to some places, which is kinda the whole point of this experiment, right? I am currently in this spot where I'm being forced to "freelance" so I need all the money I can get tbh.

Which leads me to why I didn't post on Friday...bleh

Basically, I lost my full-time job because of a lack of budget and now I'm in this weird in-between where I have a weekend gig and a freelance gig but I'm DESPERATELY searching for a full-time gig.

You guys, I've been in this weird in-between for basically three months now and it is TERRIBLE.

I'm extremely lucky for having the support system that I do and that I moved into a cheaper apartment before all this happened because if not I would be back home by now, for sure.

As mentioned previously, this has been a very tough year for me. And I've gone through the ringer being forced to reflect on myself, my and others actions and what has happened this year and the biggest conclusion I've come to is that life is just not fair.

I know this sounds obvious to most of you, but being the headstrong Aquarius that I am, I'm OBSESSED with fairness and justice. So the fact that life has been putting me through the ringer has been really frustrating to me because I don't know how to navigate it. I've bought Wiccan candles and I've been in therapy and I've been trying to pray and all sorts of different measures to ensure that my luck will change, but I guess I've just realized that sometimes things just happen because they happen.

WOW, this is depressing. And tbh, my depression has half to do with my job situation and half to do with a personal emergency that happened earlier in this year that I'm simply not ready to talk about publically, but if I'm being so honest, I'm very sad and very frustrated rn.

It's not that I feel like I deserve a nice and easy life, no one is entitled to that, but I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that if something really bad happens to you, that the universe will continue throwing you good and bad things completely random despite your trauma.

Yesterday I got another job rejection that just cut me to my core, this specific job lead me on like a bad unofficial boyfriend for MONTHS and just let me know that they probably don't have the budget for me.

I'm just SO frustrated because I just want a job. I want a 9-5, I want to buy fancy pens and a new planner – I just want to feel like my old self again. I just want to work towards something again and have personal goals for myself again and instead, I feel like I'm getting cabin fever held up in my tiny apartment.

I have no money and WAY too much time, and I know I'm lucky for that because free time is a privilege that not a lot of people have, but at this point, I feel like it's driving me INSANE and all I want is to be too busy to function.

I want to feel like the old Caelan again and I feel like for whatever reason the universe has forced me to change and is now forcing me to be reflective and I'm OVER it.

Have you ever been out of a job? It BLOWS. If you have any tips for me that would be GREATLY appreciated.

I hate writing these sort of journal-y type posts that don't end on a happy note because I'm not trying to totally depress y'all. My intention here is to just be very very honest because social media can be so fake at times, and that's coming from someone who loves it.

SO THAT BEING SAID, send me some suggestions of your favorite things to do in the summer when you're sad. I'm just so sensitive and little rn, I need all the suggestions I can GET.

Also, I promise fun and silly posts are on the horizon!

Keep it sassy,
xoxo
Caelan

8/2/17

14 Things I Learned From My Oldest Sister Devon

Hello Pussycats,

It's officially Leo season and one of my most favorite Leo's of all time HAPPENS to have a birthday today.

SO in honor of my gorgeous oldest sister Devon and her amazing birthday, I thought I'd compile a list of 14 things she has taught me over the years of our friendship and sisterhood. I'd be nowhere without her, she is a STAR. The list is not only a reminder for me about how much I've learned from her, but I'd also like to pass her wisdom forward for anyone who doesn't happen to have a big sister.

14 Things My Oldest Sister Has Taught Me:
  1. You can get away leaving the house without any eye makeup as long as you wear red lipstick and GINORMOUS sunglasses
  2. Juicy tracksuits will NEVER go out of style
  3. Elliot Smith RULES
  4. Cutting out toxic friendships, no matter how long the friendship was is NECESSARY
  5. TARGET RULES
  6. The road to self-acceptance should be paved with tiny bikinis, travel sized bottles of malibu, overpriced beach towels, and NO FUCKS GIVEN.
  7. Sometimes you fall out of love with hobbies and interests, and that's okay!
  8. If you don't have a pair of brown cowboy boots in your closet, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
  9. Just eat the damn donut
  10. It's okay to cry and to cry often. Cry when you're happy, cry when you're sad, sometimes you just need to.
  11. Even if you're 5 years apart in age, a mutual love of yodeling Cranberries songs will bring ANYONE together (even if one is an angsty teen and the other is an ANNOYING tween).
  12. If there is a clothing or makeup item that you love, buy 2...or 3 (or however many you will need for the nuclear holocaust).
  13. If you take care of the things you love (home, relationships, vintage clothing) they will last forever
  14. There are no blues that a long care drive can't cure (esp in her purple Toyota Tacoma).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEVON.
I miss you all day, every day and wish I could celebrate this birthday with you (you'll be visiting me in NY soon enough).

Keep it sassy Devon!!
xoxo
Caelan

8/1/17

I'm Tired of This Pity Party

Monstera illustration from: peachyroyalty.tumblr.com

Hey Pussycats,


I'm so tired of being tired.

Do you ever feel that way? I'm so tired of feeling ordinary, feeling like I have no platform to speak on or anyone to speak to, and more importantly, I'm tired of feeling sad.

For context, I've had a very very rough year. This year is officially half over and I can truly say that it has been the most difficult 6 months of my life. But just like Kesha rising from the ashes like the gorgeous rainbow Phoenix that she is, I too can create and make things and express myself.

I'm ready to move forward and create SOMETHING and if no one is reading this, I at least want to write again on this blog for me. I'm tired of this pity party!

I think so fondly of the time that I actively posted on this blog DAILY (what a concept). And I get frustrated thinking about how I've been so closed off from the internet, from my internet friends and weirdly enough from myself since moving to NY and I'm ready for some change.

I've decided that I want to challenge myself to MAKE SOMETHING on this blog every weekday for the month of August. That being said, I may not accomplish this goal, but whatever I do end up doing will be more than if I didn't challenge myself (right?).

If I'm being honest, I think I grew frustrated with this blog and with making content that felt like it wasn't going anywhere, but fuck it, WHATEVER, this blog will be my journal then. And if you happen to read it and enjoy it let me know, but if not, this will be a scrap book into my life with the kind of content that I love, and I'm 100% happy with that.

Okay, this stuff is boring.

I'd much prefer to talk about 5 things that I'm OBSESSED with rn:

1) "Boys" by CharliXCX

I've yet to encounter a music video/song that I related to more in my life ever before than "Boys" by Charli XCX. Not to be this person, but I've been a fan of Charli XCX for AWHILE now (here are my DAILYSASS receipts). And I'm not gonna lie, I've definitely missed a party based solely on the idea that I'd rather be thinking about boys instead. 

I love how this music video subverts typical music video gender roles and shows popular male celebrities in soft and sexy scenarios that make me want to throw every dollar bill I own towards them ($4.00 as of this current moment) and scream "YAAAAS DADDY." 

Let me also just say that my adoration of Cameron Dallas has officially crossed the line into creepy territory and that at this current moment I'm ready to drop everything and marry age-appropriate Jack Antonoff whenever he is ready and available. 

2) La Croix
A post shared by Caelan Hughes (@caelanhughes) on

By no means is it original that I love La Croix. But who cares? I'm so over people shaming things for being "basic." Not only do I find the term "basic" kind of anti-woman (are men really called basic?) but also sorry that some things are so good everyone likes them, GET OVER IT. Sure, I could drink Schwepps, but I like my sparkling water to match my personal aesthetic, and also, Schwepps definitely does not offer passionfruit flavor, so everyone can shut up about it. 

My roommates and I constantly have some in our fridge, and it's honestly my favorite thing about living in this house (besides my washer/dryer in unit). 

If being basic and liking La Croix is a crime, lock me up because I stan this product more than I stan any other "new age beverage" at my local bodega. 

3) NEBRASKA
A post shared by Caelan Hughes (@caelanhughes) on
I went to Nebraska last week and it was honestly ICONIC. I would elaborate about how much I loved it but I honestly think that I'm going to do an entire open letter to Nebraska about how much I loved it so keep your eye out for that. Let me just say two things that will make you realize why I loved it, 1) $0.99 Margaritas and 2) deep fried grilled cheese sandwiches. 

4) My Rooftop
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Never in my life have I had roof access before in an apartment building I've lived in. To be fair, I don't really have roof access anymore, BUT, for the brief period of time that I did have roof access before my building's management took it away it was MAGICAL. Watching the fireworks, getting day drunk, tanning while reading a good book – it was all something out of a Sex and The City wet dream! Brooklyn sunsets give me the same amount of joy and bewilderment that I assume more parents feel when they see their newborn babies.

5) Cool Ranch Doritos   
I mean, do I really need to explain myself? I've been a lifelong cool ranch fan, there aren't any new developments on the cool ranch front, but I just still really fucking love them. I will say though, that when I found out that in the 70's there was only nacho cheese flavor, I got really really sad.

ANYWAY, I hope this is as fun for you as it is for me. I miss writing, I miss interacting with the people who are reading and I hope together we can make something cool again.

Have a lovely August 1st.
xoxo
Caelan