Dear Caelan, Advice for the in-love and confused

 Dear Pussycats,

While I am an expert at finishing an entire roll of oreos and not much else (let's be honest), It has come to my attention that you, my readers, are my sisters. And who gives better advice then sisters! So I thought it would be cute, if I introduce an advice series on my blog, where you ask me questions, and I ask someone else questions?

Since this of course is my first edition of this advice series, I'll pull from a question I got on tumblr a few moons ago.

Hey so, I think I'm falling in love with the guy that rejected my best friend and I don't know what to do. I think he likes me but even if he did my friend really liked him. If I were to ask him I worry it would ruin our friendship. He is kind of flirty. He called my cute, he jokes constantly about how we are the SAME person and how much we have in common. Ugh what does this mean???

Okay baby, I've taken a lot of time to think about this question, and I gotta be honest, you may or may not like my response. To be totally frank, this is one of those horrible situations where you are kinda fucked either way. This is the way I see it, either you make your friend sad, or you make yourself sad.

The "girl code" thing to do would be to just drop him like a pair of last-last-last season Galaxy-print, Jeffrey Campbell Lita's, because I really do think the platonic relationships we keep are some of the most important ones. HOWEVER, you can't live your life according to other peoples feelings always, sometimes it's important to be selfish and to pursue the things that would make you happy, even if it might hurt others.

I've truly been on both sides of this situation and it sucks either way. In an ideal world I would hope that your friend would understand that things with her and him weren't meant to be, and that she would be happy for you, but thats not always how people react. I also think while it might suck for your friend, she needs to learn that, especially when it comes to romance, people will do whatever they want to do, THE EMOJI HEART WANTS WHAT THE EMOJI HEART WANTS.

If I had a dollar every time I told a friend not to date someone, or a friend told me to not date someone and we ultimately ended up dating them, I would have a net-worth similar to a Kardashian.

It sucks because we think that in the reverse, we would want our friend to date the person, and we would be happy for them, but I of all people know that it's easier said than done. HOWEVER, I think learning to be happy for people, even if we aren't, is a really important skill to learn, that I still work on every day. When you are an insecure person, sometimes all you want is for people to be miserable just like you, but in hoping for other people's misery, we in-turn make ourselves more miserable.

SO, my advice to you A) find out if he actually does like you, B) make sure he isn't a total scrub and is actually worth potentially ruining you're friendship over and C) Make sure when you tell your friend what is up, you tell her very kindly and gingerly. It SUCKS being rejected by a boy, but if your friend is a good friend, she might be sad at first, but hopefully she'll get over it and be supportive of you and your new dreamy relationship. Honestly, if she isn't, she might not be the best friend in the first place, you feel me?

Also I don't know much about him, other than the fact that he tells you that you're cute (which I'm positive you are!!) and says you're the "same person," but I think he might like you! Try to spend time with him, see if he texts you or messages you first to talk, even if he doesn't have a reason to talk and lastly see if he angles his body towards you, if he makes a lot of direct eye contact and if he finds reason to touch you (not inappropriately obviously). Those are usually signs that they like you! (let me know if you want me to elaborate more on this subject).



Switching gears just a little bit, I thought I'd ask my newly married sister Devon some love advice.

Dear Devon, what are your 5 tips to a successful marriage/relationship?

1)1) Communication is Key… Find out the best way to communicate with your love. Some people are texters, others might not be. Whether it is by carrier pigeon, or good old-fashioned telephone call, you must figure out what works best for you and your bae.
2)   Time apart is always important… Even if you have found your Mr. Right and you can’t possible imagine even spending one moment apart, it is important to take time for yourself. Plan time to spend alone mano e mano. Go for a walk; take yourself out and do something fancy and fun! Because you deserve it! In the famous words of Ru Paul, “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen up in here?”
3)   It is okay to say NO!... In relationships it is totally healthy to say no to things. You won’t always agree with your partner or everything, and that’s just fine. Although relationships are about compromise to some extent, there is no need to be a yes man (or woman), Saying no and sticking to your guns is okay! Don’t ever lose your sense of self because of the want to appease your significant other.
4)   It is okay to step outside of your comfort zone sometimes… If my husband has taught me anything in the last 5 years, it is that it’s okay to step outside of your comfort zone. Sometimes it’s important to try new things to push yourself to do something you never thought you would or could. You might just discover that you are really good at something you never thought you would be. It is healthy to let loose sometimes! That being said, it is also important to listen to that little voice.
5)   Have Fun!... The one thing that I can say makes me feel like the luckiest girl every day, is the fun I find in doing the dumbest things with my husband. Going to Costco or Target turns into the most fun with Rob. Love is all about enjoying the mundane everyday tasks or errands you do with your partner. At the end of the day, relationships are meant to be fun. Enjoy spending time doing nothing with your honey. If you aren’t having fun anymore, it might be good to take a step back and re-evaluate your relationship.


Quality advice from my amazing sister, and I hope my advice helped too!

If you have any questions for me, feel free to write a comment or leave an anonymous post on my tumblr here

and please please please check out my sisters instagram @themoderndamessociety

This is my first advice post and please let me know if you like it and want to see more!



Disposable Diaries: Rockaway Beach + My Best Friend Elise

Dear Pussycats,

I have another mini disposable diaries for you all. Here are two sets of photos from my amazing summer last year.

I went to Rockaway beach with my friend Jacqueline and we had so much fun. We swapped stories, ate a huge picnic and dipped our toes in the beautiful atlantic. I have more photos from this event, but I think Jacqueline can attest that they were all awkward. So here are some scenic shots of the ocean for your viewing pleasure. The sand was as fine as powder sugar, and the sun was hotter than the devil. It was a beautiful day.

This is Elise. I may or may not have featured her on my blog a million moons ago, but this girl has been my best friend since 5th grade.

We met in our fifth grade class, and the story goes, she was afraid of me because she thought I would get her in trouble, she was not wrong with this idea.

She helped me pass 6th grade math, and I helped her be goofy. We were in every musical production at our school since middle school and we spent every new years together reeking what we thought was havoc on her tiny, gaited cul de sac. I love this girl because only I know about the Magic classes she took in 7th grade, and only she knows about all the times I would call and hang up on my 6th grade crush, *sigh* oh middle school.

Being the brave trail blazer that she is, she moved to the east coast after High School and I stayed home, however we kept in touch always.

Last summer I had the marvelous pleasure of spending an entire weekend with her and it seriously felt like no time has passed. I'm so incredibly proud of this girl, she moved all the way to Boston by herself and now she's killing it in Los Angeles and she is, to-this-day, the smartest cookie I know.

We squeezed into my tiny dorm bed and woke up to have a delicious Manhattan brunch, and a nice walk down the high-line. This girl is seriously one of my queens, and of course I never visited her when she was in school in Boston, and of course now she lives on the West Coast, but I know in my heart our paths will cross and we will live in the same city some day in the future. We've survived braces, box-highlights and breakups, and I'd like to think we have both blossomed into beautiful, bright babies bombshells.

And I know this last photo is not from my disposable camera, but it was taken that day and it was just too cute I had to include it. Especially considering that the other do were so dark (with modern technology we totally forget to use flash). 

To see my previous Disposable Diaries click here, and here 

Keep it sassy,



Dear Pussycats,

One of the BEST nights of my life was my 21st birthday. My best friend Jhune completely set up the whole event, it include Stella on special, all of my favorite people in one room, and an incredible band called the Bougies. Now this was one of those super magical special nights where I drank, danced and even had the courage to run up on the stage and hug the lead singer because IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DID WHATEVER I PLEASED!

While a whole year and some change has happened, my love for the Bougies has not stopped, and has only grown stronger since Jhune first introduced me to them!

An Oahu-based Indie garage pop band, the Bougies have been making music and kicking ass since 2011. Apparently they just dove head first into making music picking up instruments and deciding "hey, lets do this music thing" and badda bing badda boom, one of my FAVORITE bands was born!

Today marks a very special day because today their new EP comes out! Since you are here and reading this, I'm sure you want to hear what they are all about, so I'll stop talking! Their music makes me feel like taking a slow drag of a cigarette while speeding down the windy Makapu'u drive at dusk! And let's be real Jordan has one of THE sexiest voices I've ever heard, he gives Julian Casablancas a run for his money imho!

If you are listening to this and tapping your toes, or dancing around your teen girl bedroom just like I am, and happened to live on Oahu, you should REALLY considering going to their release party TONIGHT at Manifest!!

Unfortunately I can't fly out when my favorite band has a release party, BUT,  if you are reading this and want to have a mini internet-release party with me tonight, I would so be into arranging a oovoo or tinychat party with booze and dancing? Let me know!

I think its really important to support the little guy, support local music, and as much as I love Queen Bey, I gotta say I have new music to occupy my long subway rides now!

Listen to the music, buy it on iTunes, share it if you love it, my favorite song is "Fancy B" what is yours?

Keep it sassy,


How I moved to NYC

Dear Pussycats,

Huge news: Last month I hit my 1 year anniversary in New York! While my life isn't cheesecake, Frank Sinatra and a Manhattan on the rocks, I did it, I made it and I wanna tell you how.

Moving to New York is absolutely terrifying. It has been the hardest thing I've done, but trust me, if I can do it, ANYONE can do it. There are several things that lead up to my actual moving, I knew I had an opportunity and if I didn't take it I'd regret it for the rest of my life!

1) Passion - It started really with a dream, I know, I know I sound like a Lifetime-lady-tampon movie, but you have to want to move to New York more than ANYTHING in the world. As you know I visited October 2013 for the Teen Vogue Fashion university program and it was an amazing experience! After spending time in the city I knew I had to get back there as soon as possible! It was my dream and I was clawing at the bit to make happen. I slept and dreamt New York, and I truly think the only way to actually make it here is to be hungrier than I am when I'm walking past the Roll & Go on Canal st (mmmm pizzaaaaa).

2) Motive - mine was an internship, yours could be a job, you need some sort of catalyst. Internships can be easy to get, however you get stuck in this weird middle ground because it is a New York law that you have to either be paid, or get school credit, so that is why I decided to finish my schooling online while I moved to New York to try to make it happen. Also I would suggest you getting a job at a company you could transfer with, because internships don't pay and they don't guarantee a job so you need money somehow and having job security is important, jobs aren't that easy to get, despite what I used to think.

3) Financial stability or a really supportive family - I'll be honest with you, the "savings" I had consisted of all my couch cushion change and my tax return, don't do it this way, SAVE MONEY BBs. I was lucky to get some help from my parents, but truthfully I was selfish in thinking that I could rely on them, if you're an adult and you want to make this grown-up decision to move, don't do it the way I did. Save your $$, because New York is one of the most expensive cities in the world and if you want to make it happen and live the Blair Waldorf dream, you gotta have the funds to pay for all those bagels with lox mmkay.

4) Housing - if you are interning you can sign up to live in the NYU dorms! While they are a bit pricey, it was Manhattan real estate for the summer with a bunch of other interns and even though there was three of us in a room, it was an experience to say the least. Other than that, I wouldn't really try to find a place before you move, I've heard through many people that that doesn't pan out as well as you'd hope. Wait till you get here to check out places, because trust me girl, no friend is close enough to check out Craigslist places for you.  So I dormed from late May to early July, then when it came to finding something permanent, I kept my ears perked and told EVERYONE that I was looking to find a place,  and thankfully I lucked out and got the best roommate ever through one of my coworkers! Trust me, you talk to enough people and you'll find something!

5) Friends, family, any members of your tribe - I seriously recommend connecting with ANYONE you know. I reconnected with an old friend of mine and we hit it off like never before. Having people just to go to Bed Bath and Beyond with you is extremely important in lifting your spirits on a sad day! Meeting you for drinks after a stressful day at work or even just helping you move, tribe members are essential, especially when your family and OG homegirls are so far away!

I wanted to make a little list of some things I've learned in this year.

1) New Yorkers aren't rude, they are direct - Don't be afraid to speak your mind and stand up for yourself! You won't get anywhere if you aren't afraid to say what you mean and mean what you say! Sometimes I am shocked at the things I hear New Yorkers say, but hey! At least they aren't passive aggressive like every other city in America.

2) Pull over to the side of the street when accessing google maps - There is no bigger indicator that A) you have no clue where you are going and B) you are a newbie. So pull over because you will get shoulder-checked by an angry New Yorker on their smoke break plowing down Broadway.

3) Visit $1 Pizza $2 Beer in Greenwich Village for the Best deal in NYC - trust me, It's actually called "$1 Pizza $2 Beer" and it sells exactly what it's claiming. Whether you're pre-gaming for a night out or just need a cheap buzz, go there and relish in the incredibleness.

4) Have Cash Always - whether its for a $1 slice, $1 hotdog or anything from a bodega, half the time they don't take credit cards and 100% of the time it's a huge pain in my ass.

5) Even if you don't think you're brave and strong, you are! I have to tell myself this every day, but taking the leap and jumping into the unknown is terrifying and you deserve some credit! Not just everyone can do what we did and we deserve a pat on the back and a really good hug.

I hope this advice was helpful for any of you BB's thinking about making this move
keep it sassy,


Disposable Diaries: Coney Island Summer 2014

Dear Pussycats,

Despite the fact that I haven't been blogging a lot, I haven't stopped taking tons of photos. I've only just begun scanning all of them, but I thought we could all relive some of my favorite moments through these blogposts. This photo series is very important to me because it commemorates my first trip to Coney Island ever last summer.

The first time I stuck my little piggies in the Atlantic Ocean!

My tour guide and company for the day was my sweetest sea-star Misha! You've seen her on this blog and you'll see her in a lot more photos coming up.

Outfit Items: Top: Vintage / Shorts: Kate Spade Saturday / Sunglasses: Opening Ceremony / Earrings: a present from Kelsey!

Coney Island is by far my favorite part of Brooklyn, and it's crazy to think at this time I had no clue I'd soon be living 20 minutes away from it!

Cheers to more photos and more adventures. 

Keep it sassy,


Kitties, I love you

Dear Pussycats,
Today I will discuss my long history and love of cats, specifically Netflix the cat. 

When I was a very young girl all I ever wanted was a tiny cat of my own. I would run around our strawberry farm all the time pretending I had a feline companion that was accompanied by a trio of tiny imaginary mice. I'd even leave bowls of water and tiny treats out, but I quickly learned imaginary pets just wouldn't cut it. 

Then one beautiful day my mom and dad brought home the ultimate present, Lilly, aka the sweetest cat ever. Lilly was a soft grey tiny thing with baby blue eyes and a purr that sounded like a talking doll that had been left in the rain. 

When we played together she would never scratch me, nor did she show any visual signs of distress when I would keep her in a love-chokehold, (because as a 5-year-old, I actually didn't know any better). I loved her so much, I would even wear my hair in tiny lop-sided pigtails to match her soft, speckily grey kitty ears. She became my first best friend. 

Then one very sad day, I came home from school to find out Lilly was hit by a minivan. I was devastated, I felt like my tiny heart was ran over by Tonka truck. Without the emotional support of Lilly how was I going to make it through my exhausting first year in school (I've been an anxious hotness since pre-K).

My dad knew the best way to stop four little girls from crying, was to distract them something with something new and equally fuzzy. He brought home two new cats, Tahi and Moana, and while they were beautifully exotic with caramel striped coats and piercing emerald eyes, they were feral and instantly hated us. I tried to play and become their den mother, but they were not having it. These cats are documented as my first haters ever - there was no reason for them to not like me, but they refused to, (I also know they were totally taking shit about me behind my back...RUDE).

A year and many cat scratches later, we moved away from the farm, and within our first few months living on Oahu the cats packed up their tiny rucksacks full of catnip and loose sweater threads and ran away, to never be seen again. This time I was not as devastated. These cats were so scary and evil, when they were locked inside their cages, they figured out how to open the crate from the inside out by shoving their scary paws through the cage door and opening the lock with their claws! Despite the fact that they were pure evil, I still had an empty place in my heart. All I wanted was a very sweet kitten to call my own, damnit! The kitten gods were against me!

When I was 7 years old my mom surprised us with news that we could get a cat at our local Humane Society. This was just about as exciting as when N*Sync dropped their "No Strings Attached" album. The deal was sweetened when we realized they were having a two for one deal going on, which means we got two cats, meaning 8 fuzzy paws to hold!

Baby-me was thinking, "f*ck yeah, this is the dream!" We picked one brown kitten and a black kitten both with hazel green eyes and marble stripes. The brown kitten was named "Julia", which we instantly decided was a really lame name for a cat, and the other didn't have a name. We quickly changed "Julia" to "Pickles" and we decided the other one would be called "Roxy."

As the cats grew up and grew into their personalities Pickles quickly became a crowd favorite. She was fat, she'd always sit directly on whatever homework I was working on, and her fat rolls would cover the entire perimeter of my textbook. She let us put hats on her and slip off our beds in slow-motion sliding on our comforters, it was so funny.

Roxy on the other hand was thin and prickly and she didn't even bother to play with us. To make a proper analogy Pickles was kinda like John Goodman and Roxy was like John Waters, except they were both female.

Then the cat gods were against me again when one morning about 4 years later, I woke up and my parents told me that Pickles had a heart attack cause she was too fat and had passed away that morning.

I got down on my knees right there and yelled to the heavens with my tiny fists up in the air "THE WRONG CAT DIED!"

Flash forward a few years, Roxy and I lived like awkward roommates, she would do her thing and ignore me with this awkward Elephant in the room sort of vibe. I just wanted to yell at her "WHAT'S YOUR DAMAGE ROXY?"

While I was living in the dorms Roxy got accustomed to lying on my bed and basically told me that it was her domain, but that she guessed we could "share" it.  Every time I'd have my computer out to watch Netflix she would casually come by and rub her face, entire body and tail against the sides of my computer, like that old school nokia game Snake, and ask me what I was watching with her blinky hazel eyes.

I looked over at her lil face peeking over my macbook and I looked into those piercing bullet eyes and thought, "I will call you Netflix and I will have you as my own."

And with the name-change came an absolute personality change too. We went from awkward acquaintances to absolute homies, rolling catnip blunts and ghost riding the whip around my neighborhood, aka watching hours and hours of shitty TLC reality TV shows and weird documentaries cuddling.

Now that I'm away I miss that stupid little furball more than I ever thought I would. Netflix has taught me that it's never too late to change your impression of someone. It took me about 13 years to learn to love her, but in true Beauty and the Beast fashion she eventually won me over.

While I've quickly adopted my adorable boyfriend's adorable cat Cookie, Netflix will always be my main bitch.

Life's too short to hold grudges pussycats, and your former mortal enemy could easily be your homie. So believe in yourself and do the right thing, okay?
And that is the tail of Netflix the Cat. (Gah ha ha)



Falling In Love with Hawaii (all over again)

Dear Pussycats,

Words cannot how amazing I feel being back home. Maybe it's the surge of vitamin D on my skin, the 20+ new freckles on my face, hugs from those I love dearly, or maybe just my sunshine-baby-powers recharging, but I'm the happiest I've been in awhile. 

It's crazy how they say that you only appreciate your hometown when you move away from it, because it's so totally true. I used to think Hawaii was the "ughhh", full of carbs and limited possibilities, but that's simply not the case.

While I'm not packing my bags and moving back home for good, Hawaii will always be my "happy place." 

The second I got in, I knew I was home when I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in forever, (because in Hawaii, you can't walk 4 square feet without running into your friend from elementary school, your exboyfriend's mom or a teacher you once had for a semester). 

Stepping out of the Honolulu International Airport I felt the soft sweet air whisper, "aloha, girl", the palm trees bowed their heads to me, and all the clouds floated away, leaving me in awe of a perfectly sunny day in paradise and the place I'm lucky enough to call home.  

My days on this mini-vacation have been full of crazy wedding planning and the occasional tears, but the overwhelming happiness that has been radiated from my sea-stars (sisters), friends and family is hopefully going to be enough to recharge me until the next time I'm back.

It's no secret that I'm stressed, tired and a little bit blue or that I've been using this blog as an outlet for all my sad feels, but I think I'm going to actively start making an effort to write about all the things that I love, weekly. I've said it once before, I fall in love every day, might as well tell you about all the things I love!

I used to associate my home with teen angst, feelings of isolation or even failure, but now I ONLY associate it with warm hugs, family, champagne toasts, morning toast and coffee, floating mindlessly in the azure sea and the occasional sunburn.