8/1/17

I'm Tired of This Pity Party

Monstera illustration from: peachyroyalty.tumblr.com

Hey Pussycats,


I'm so tired of being tired.

Do you ever feel that way? I'm so tired of feeling ordinary, feeling like I have no platform to speak on or anyone to speak to, and more importantly, I'm tired of feeling sad.

For context, I've had a very very rough year. This year is officially half over and I can truly say that it has been the most difficult 6 months of my life. But just like Kesha rising from the ashes like the gorgeous rainbow Phoenix that she is, I too can create and make things and express myself.

I'm ready to move forward and create SOMETHING and if no one is reading this, I at least want to write again on this blog for me. I'm tired of this pity party!

I think so fondly of the time that I actively posted on this blog DAILY (what a concept). And I get frustrated thinking about how I've been so closed off from the internet, from my internet friends and weirdly enough from myself since moving to NY and I'm ready for some change.

I've decided that I want to challenge myself to MAKE SOMETHING on this blog every weekday for the month of August. That being said, I may not accomplish this goal, but whatever I do end up doing will be more than if I didn't challenge myself (right?).

If I'm being honest, I think I grew frustrated with this blog and with making content that felt like it wasn't going anywhere, but fuck it, WHATEVER, this blog will be my journal then. And if you happen to read it and enjoy it let me know, but if not, this will be a scrap book into my life with the kind of content that I love, and I'm 100% happy with that.

Okay, this stuff is boring.

I'd much prefer to talk about 5 things that I'm OBSESSED with rn:

1) "Boys" by CharliXCX

I've yet to encounter a music video/song that I related to more in my life ever before than "Boys" by Charli XCX. Not to be this person, but I've been a fan of Charli XCX for AWHILE now (here are my DAILYSASS receipts). And I'm not gonna lie, I've definitely missed a party based solely on the idea that I'd rather be thinking about boys instead. 

I love how this music video subverts typical music video gender roles and shows popular male celebrities in soft and sexy scenarios that make me want to throw every dollar bill I own towards them ($4.00 as of this current moment) and scream "YAAAAS DADDY." 

Let me also just say that my adoration of Cameron Dallas has officially crossed the line into creepy territory and that at this current moment I'm ready to drop everything and marry age-appropriate Jack Antonoff whenever he is ready and available. 

2) La Croix
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By no means is it original that I love La Croix. But who cares? I'm so over people shaming things for being "basic." Not only do I find the term "basic" kind of anti-woman (are men really called basic?) but also sorry that some things are so good everyone likes them, GET OVER IT. Sure, I could drink Schwepps, but I like my sparkling water to match my personal aesthetic, and also, Schwepps definitely does not offer passionfruit flavor, so everyone can shut up about it. 

My roommates and I constantly have some in our fridge, and it's honestly my favorite thing about living in this house (besides my washer/dryer in unit). 

If being basic and liking La Croix is a crime, lock me up because I stan this product more than I stan any other "new age beverage" at my local bodega. 

3) NEBRASKA
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I went to Nebraska last week and it was honestly ICONIC. I would elaborate about how much I loved it but I honestly think that I'm going to do an entire open letter to Nebraska about how much I loved it so keep your eye out for that. Let me just say two things that will make you realize why I loved it, 1) $0.99 Margaritas and 2) deep fried grilled cheese sandwiches. 

4) My Rooftop
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Never in my life have I had roof access before in an apartment building I've lived in. To be fair, I don't really have roof access anymore, BUT, for the brief period of time that I did have roof access before my building's management took it away it was MAGICAL. Watching the fireworks, getting day drunk, tanning while reading a good book – it was all something out of a Sex and The City wet dream! Brooklyn sunsets give me the same amount of joy and bewilderment that I assume more parents feel when they see their newborn babies.

5) Cool Ranch Doritos   
I mean, do I really need to explain myself? I've been a lifelong cool ranch fan, there aren't any new developments on the cool ranch front, but I just still really fucking love them. I will say though, that when I found out that in the 70's there was only nacho cheese flavor, I got really really sad.

ANYWAY, I hope this is as fun for you as it is for me. I miss writing, I miss interacting with the people who are reading and I hope together we can make something cool again.

Have a lovely August 1st.
xoxo
Caelan

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