12/23/15

Disposable Diaries: Hawaii '14

Dear Pussycats, 

I absolutely love this series. It's so perplexing to me that I've been documenting my life via disposable cameras for over two years now, and I'm still only discussing September of 2014 on this blog. This post in particular is about my mini trip back home last summer.

To this day, I think my decision to uproot and move to New York was one of the most naive and stubborn things I've ever done. I really put a lot of my personal relationships and my finances in jeopardy over "my dream," which lately has been feeling as distant as it felt when I was day-dreaming in Honolulu. 

Every time I'm feeling melancholy (which is often, lets be honest), I remember that I moved here, I did the damn thing and that I'm a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. 

These photos are from a quick four-day trip home, on what was supposed to be my return ticket after my summer interning at Bust Magazine. 

I tried to schedule as much time with friends and family as I could in the span of four days. I also tried to schedule as much delicious food as possible. 

Here I am with my brother in law Rob and my seastar Devon. And the second photo is with one of my dearest friends, Sharice. 

Sharice and I met while working at Betsey Johnson together, She was my manager and I was at the bottom of the totem pole, but our love of fancy dresses and our long list of inside jokes has bonded us to this day. 


Then, of course I had to stop at Leonards to get a malasada. God, I think about these and I want to cry. There is nothing more delicious in the entire world than a leonards malasada. 


Quality car-selfies with Kelsey.

Then, quality cat-selfies with Kelsey. 





Then I met up with one of my sweetest friends, Sofi. When Sofi and my eyes locked during a journalism class during our first semester of college, we knew we were going to be life-long friends. I miss this girl so much. 

Then there is Jhune! Ugh I hate this photo of me so much, but I love her even more so I guess I have to post it. Jhune is another one of my soul mates. We support each other and are here for each other all day long. I'm also completely in friend-love with her and I hope we're friends until we're really old and wrinkly and eating chicken adobe while listening to Fetty Wap.

Man, writing this post and going back down memory lane, I can't help but think, "what the hell was I thinking leaving in the first place?" 

Maybe I'm in a weird head space, but living in New York for over a year and a half has changed me. I'm not the bright-eyed dreamer anymore, I'm depressed, my dreams of writing have been squashed, and despite having a sweet boyfriend, I desperately need more friends. 

The good news is, it was my enthusiasm and tenacity that got me here and has kept me here so far, so why wouldn't those two things bring me the life-success I crave?

This year I want to document those things more, how to make friends when you're some place new! 

Have you ever had this kind of difficulty moving to a new place, even a year and a half later? Have you ever had a malasada? Let me know down below!

Keep it Sassy
xoxo
Caelan

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