Guest Writer: Peter Chastagner

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The Return of a Fashion Icon

It all began about four years ago in Carlsbad, California. I was sitting in a small coffee shop with my friend Carrie when a bicyclist walked in. Carrie’s upper lip curled upward.
“Why would anyone wear that?”

I turned to look at the bicyclist. He was tightly wrapped in a neon green shirt and black spandex shorts.

“He wears the bright colors are so he is easily noticed in traffic. The tight clothing is good for aerodynamics and for showing off his bicyclist butt,” I explained. “That big rearview mirror on his helmet is kinda tacky, bu---”

“No no no,” Carrie interrupted, “what’s up with that fanny pack?!” I mulled it over.
“Well, he doesn’t have pockets in those spandex shorts and he probably filled his shirt pockets with energy bars. His under-the-seat bag is most likely loaded up with spare inner tubes and maybe some thigh lube to guard against chaffing… Where else would he put his keys and wallet and phone?”

While argued on the cyclist’s behalf, I began to imagine that I myself owned a fanny pack. I could take it to the gym, or use it to store my stuff when I go to soccer games. What about the beach… my board shorts don’t have pockets so carrying my stuff around the beach is sometimes a struggle… and when I go for a jog… this genius had solved most of my current life problems.

For the next month I was trapped in the same fanny pack reverie. I explained the possibilities to anyone who would listen. Oddly enough, despite my irrefutable logic—and the obvious potential for the fashion comeback of the season—every interaction I had can be easily summed up by the face Carrie made behind her low-fat latte with a double pump of whatever: 

“Ewwww. There’s never a good reason to wear a fanny pack.”

“Oh yeah? Well I’m gonna buy one, make them popular, and prove you wrong.”
Peter is an 100 year old man whose been living with Benjamin Button syndrome for the majority of his life. His hobbies include: word play, sudoku, and being good at pretty much everything. You may or may not have seen him in our news show for our journalism class called Ka Hui Ho'olauna making blinky eyes with the dean of social science. Peter is loves eggnog, and hates egg salad and buffalo flavored things (that's because he's sensitive to his animal brothers and because they apparently taste like batteries). 

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