1/7/14

An Open Letter to my Ovaries

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Dear Ovaries,
why are you my friend and then not? Why must you torment me once a month and make me feel like the gates of hell have opened up in my lower abdomen? While I know you are important, and I will probably be thankful of you some day, on days like this I........ :(

Ovaries, why do you make me want to sob my eyeballs out, watch the LifeTime Original movie network, and train my warm cat to sit on my belly? Why do you make my cry over everything, and why do I always seem to physically break something during this week, which seems to make my cry more?

Why do I feel the need to go shopping, but then I'm so bloated, everything look awful on.  WHY DO I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE THOSE WOMEN IN THE TAMPON COMMERCIALS WHO WEAR HOODIES AND DONT WANNA GO OUTSIDE.

Ovaries, you have turned me into a cliche, every month. And I just recently learned that I can't put my overheated computer on my stomach or I might have mutant x-men fire babies or something! UGHHHH! It's like, I can feel myself acting irrationally this week, and I know that on one level its probably my period, but in my period-crazy-mind I feel like its not, thus adding fuel to my already crazy brain!

Why aren't tampons free?
Why dont I have a milkshake maker?
Why don't I have a person who is hired to follow me around and constantly validate me and tell me how pretty I am?
Why is my skin breaking out when my life is already in shambles this week?
Why do carbs taste so good?
WHY OVARIES, WHY?

Since I'm sure you don't have the answers for me, I guess I'll just webmd them

xoxox
Sasssquatch

2 comments:

  1. I love this! I just got over my monthly period drama, and now my skin is breaking out like a beast! It's awful. Why must we be punished by our bodies for not being pregnant? Then when we get pregnant, our bodies are punished more! It's neverending!

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