tw: Patriarchy, Boners, Misogyny, Assholes
Lets have a quick discussion about PATRIARCHY.
If you aren't aware Patriarchy is defined as "a social system in which males are the primary authority figures central to social organization, occupying roles of political leadership, moral authority and control of property, and where fathers hold authority over women and children. It implies the institutions of male rule and privilege and entails female subordination.
Okay so you are thinking, "woah Patriarchy sucks," and you are right in thinking that, now there are many parts about patriarchy that sucks, but the worst part is it's weeds-like quality that allows it so keep multiplying and spreading, just like dandelions, the second it spreads its everywhere, and you will begin to see it pop up everywhere, but sadly it is no where near as cute as dandelions.
My sister has this school friend, he is one of those typical "Nice Guys" (click here), the type of guy who doesn't have a girlfriend, but would blame it on the fact that "girls are just sluts now and days" or "they only like assholes, not great guys like me," you get the picture I'm painting. So this boy, we'll call him Boner for short, now my sister and I would occasionally poke fun at Boner, nothing too mean but being the person that he is internalized everything we'd say and put it in his piggy bank of patriarchy, "how dare they be mean to me, they are just girls, with vagina's and stuff." Anywho teasing aside, Boner would say problematic things occasionally, and of course I would respond, calling him out. One time he tried to explain to me that because Drake was an actor on television that that means he never dealt with racism or systematic oppression, He would make comments about how "skanky" Miley Cyrus was etc. But the worst thing he told me was, this story of his friend, apparently his friend was sensitive and depressed and wanted to take self help classes and he was like "I'm sorry but I just had to call him a f*ggot," this got me REALLY upset, as it should've so I explained that he was being homophobic.
Now boys like Boner don't like when people call them out on their shit, because most homophobic people don't think they are homophobic, it's like the people who say "it's not that I'm homophobic, I just don't wanna see it" *eye roll.* Instead of discusssing this with me about how I hurt his feelings in a mature fashion, he internalized it and would be passive aggressive and rude to me every time he saw me. One thing I'm sure you've realized about me is that I'm NOT very passive aggressive, I talk things out, I enjoy hearing everyone's opinions and even if I don't like them, I can respect someone's opinion especially if I hurt their feelings. But instead of doing that and being a normal human being Boner told my sister that he didn't like me because I was "too political" for a girl. BONER WORKS DELIVERS PIZZA FOR A LIVING AND HE THINKS HE HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL ME THAT MY BEHAVIOR ISN'T ACCEPTABLE!
I know, I know people but let me explain how this ties into patriarchy. Because of patriarchy he has this standard about how women and men should act that gives into the gender binary. Because his friend doesn't conform to his idea of masculinity and I don't conform to his idea about femininity, he shuts down and doesn't like it, because it's all he knows, and thats just sad. Life is too short to fit in these gender roles and to try to fit because we are not cookie cutters, we are cool human beings alright? Just remember guys Pizza Rolls > Gender Rolls and that the gender binary is SOOOOO 2000andlate and you either need to get the net or get the fuck out of the fish tank. Also just cut people like this out of your life, they are brats and NOT worth your breath.
If you are curious about this subject and want to learn more about the role patriarchy/misogyny and masculinity play into our society, I recommend the documentary Tough Guise click here its where the first gif comes from and you will be crying and clapping at the end of it.
and on that note pussycats,
have a great day
and please keep it sassy,