11/21/13

Parking Lot Ecstasy.

Photo by Jhune Li
I have this metaphor for life, and it's called "Parking lot Ecstasy" or "Parking lot rolls," (rolls being slang for ecstasy…you get it) and its an ongoing metaphor that I find pops up in my post-teen life more often than not. "Parking lot ecstasy" is exactly what it sounds like, the ecstasy one takes in a parking lot, but its more than just that. Let me elaborate, while I'm hiding from the world wrapped in my cheeta print snuggie there are these events that occur called "raves..." 

Now unless you are some old bag, or like 5 years old, first off how did you get to my blog… and secondly "raves" are giant electronic dance music parties, where I read that drug consumption occasionally takes place. So you're at this rave, you're feeling yourself, your outfit and the music, and you take drugs (not that I'm endorsing drugs but I'm trying to paint a picture okay?) But then, the party is done, everyone scours to the parking lot to sober up with some fast food and to drive home for a long night of tossing and turning in preparation for a shitty drug come down. 

Most people accept their fate and start drinking water but then there are always those who suggest "parking lot rolls." They think, if they take drugs in the parking lot that the fun will continue and that they will never come down from this drug induced euphoria and that it will be like they never left the rave but that isn't how life works. Sometimes you need to know when the party is over and that what "parking lot ecstasy" is all about.

Now this metaphor applies to many situations in life and not just those involving drug use. Say for example you wake up and your all toasty wrapped like a burrito in your zebra print snuggie (my snuggie collection is ellaborate) and you have your first cup of coffee. Nothing and I mean, NOTHING is better than your first cup of coffee for the day but then oh wait, time has not frozen and you have shit to do today. 

So you come up with a brilliant idea, let me just put this beautiful, glorious elixir from the challis of this gods in a dinky red solo cup and into the cup holder of my car. In your brain you're thinking the feeling won't stop, it will be like you're all wrapped up like a toasty burrito and the coffee will be delicious and this glorious morning feeling won't subside. But alas that is NEVER the case; the cold air will chill your coffee to an undrinkable temperature and no matter how careful you attempt to be, you will spill it either all over yourself, your car or both. You are taking metaphorical "parking lot rolls" and you need to realize that the party is OVER.

Other examples of "parking lot rolls" are: The fact that The Rolling Stones still go on tour, any sort of "Greatest Hits Album,""Center of the Roll" at the diabetes inducing franchise Cinnabon which essentially is when Cinnabon takes the center of cinnamon rolls and put them in a bath of icing, capitalizing on the fact that people like icing and people like the mushy centers of cinnamon rolls so why not put them together, NO, you can't just do that Cinnabon! When a former child start pose for maxim in their last attempt at a career revival, The people behind any of the Sex and the City movies or spin off series The Carrie Diaries. LET IT GO PEOPLE. The party is over. 

So I hope this helped you articulate these sort of incidents that occur in your life and I hope that you will now realize when you have to let it go.
Have a great day
and please keep it sassy,
xoxoxo
Sasssquatch

2 comments:

  1. but center of the rolls is amazing

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  2. I love this idea! I've never heard this phrase before, did you invent it? I really adore it and want to start using it immediately!

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