10/1/13

Everything is Embarrassing: 1


They say that you should write what you know. Well, I know a lot of things: I know a lot about donuts, I know a lot about sitcoms, but Pussycats, I know, above all things, a lot about being embarrassed.

So I thought I’d introduce a new series called Everything is Embarrassing where I relive embarrassing moments of Sasssquatchs’ past, because the only thing that could possibly be more fun is *insert witty joke that makes me seem funny*

So this story is called “Sasssquatch gets broken up with, by a guy who she wasn’t even dating”
Flashback to freshman year, I have bright red hair and I live in a tiny dorm with my roommate and her boyfriend who loved watching MMA fights. One Friday night after studying for hours (aka watching Netflix in the Library) I head home to discover there was a pretty mediocrily hot guy sitting on my bed. Now, granted, he was the best looking friend of my roommate I ever saw, so this was kind of a big deal. Anywho, drinks were shared, and I start talking to him. He seemed cute, a bit dumb, but cute and so after a drunken kiss on the cheek that night, I gave him my number.

Now all weekend this boy was texting me like “oh hey I can’t wait to see you soon” and “we should go out,” and even “my grandma lives around you, I should introduce you guys,” and I was kinda feelin it but mostly like “errrr” this boy seems to be going kinda fast, I actually just met him. But then out of nowhere, I get this text “Hey so, Caelan, I need to be honest with you, I think we should just be friends, it’s not you, it’s me, I just got out of a relationship and I don’t want to ruin our spectacular friendship.” …WTF.

First off, its not like we’d been talking for more than 2 days, secondly who said I was implying that we should date, 3rdly “spectacular friendship?” wtf we JUST met and 4thly you’re really gonna use the “it’s not you it’s me?” What is this, a Lifetime-lady-tampon-movie?  I mean, I gotta appreciate the honesty but I found it to be a bit unnecessary, whenever I realize I don’t like someone so soon, I sorta just stop talking to them but hey, I’m also a passive aggressive 12-year-old. So contrary to the advice of my friends, I didn’t text him “who said we were even dating?” or “who said I liked you,” Instead I texted him a simple “no worries dude ;)” It was simple, yet got my point across nicely.

However the story doesn’t end here, after getting broken up by an almost stranger, he then proceeded to actually want to be friends. He would hit me up sorta often and give me these awkward hugs when I ran into him in person. I mean, I appreciate him not wanting to be a dick, but I really could’ve done without his lame attempt friendship, I mean, I barely knew him in the first place, I’m really not that eager for friends. But with every time that he texted me and every awkward hug I received I would just die of embarrassment Every. Single. Time.


And that, pussycats, was the first installment of Everything is Embarrassing I hope you guys liked it and let me know if you like this sort of post.
Have a great nonembarrassing day
and please keep it sassy,
xoxoxox
Sasssquatch

2 comments:

  1. Haha I love this post series idea. I do stupid shit/have stupid shit thrust upon me all the time and I think the sooner you laugh at it all the better!

    Rachel

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