Now I’m sure that you are more than tired of hearing me talk about San Francisco, but I learned a lot of important things on this trip that I think are important to put to paper (or blog) to make sure I retain this information and apply it to my universe.
San Francisco is an amazing place. Growing up knowing that I was born there, always made me feel this strange sort of cosmic connection to the city. I always heard “oh you’d fit in so well there,” or it was one of the places that was guessed, when others asked about my hometown. I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong in Hawaii, I’m not very into surf culture or a slow paced sort of life style that is reflective of the “Aloha spirit.” I always wanted to escape this tiny rock and I sort of just imagined, growing up, that all my problems would be solved if I moved to San Francisco. San Francisco was my Garden of Eden, San Francisco was my Mount Olympus, this vague, misty unknown that sounds way better than my current situation, but yet is always in the distance.
And while this trip began with idealistic expectations, I realized coming here without my parents, coming here as a pseudo adult, that San Francisco is not a panacea for my struggles. While San Francisco is a gorgeous metropolitan city with a loud heartbeat, that happens to be the central hub for all things cool and classic in the world, San Francisco has problems too. Despite the shiny golden gate bridge, San Francisco is not my golden ticket. You guys might be thinking, “No duhh Sasssquatch,” and to be fair, while that may seem obvious to you all, it genuinely wasn’t to me.
I constantly put San Francisco on this pedestal, once I was there I’d be cool, and I’d be wearing coats, and dating a lumberjack and everything would be peach pie and my life would be perfect, (there would probably be a rent controlled apartment and a French bull dog that poops pearls in this day-dream scenario aswell.) But that just isn’t the case. While I was in San Francisco this time around, it wasn’t missing only the physical fog, but the metaphorical fantasy dry ice blur, that encapsulated my adolescent dreams for escape.
I, for the first time in my life, saw San Francisco for what it was. It’s lack of delicious pho, its really…colorful (for lack of a better word) homeless people, It’s highly populated shopping areas and its expensive everything, that shook me out of my DJ Tanner fantasy. I learned that while one day, I would love to move to San Francisco, I am by no means ready to live on my own or with friends right now. I need hugs from my momzie, and sister time, and spam musubis and Krater 96 (okay maybe not Krater 96), but what I’m getting at is that I missed my HOME.
Yes there were ridiculously stylish people everywhere in San Francisco. But is it really lame to say that I love Hawaii, because when I’m dressed in one of my crazy frocks, I sorta feel special? Maybe it’s the big fish small pond complex but Hawaii makes me feel different, and Hawaii is safe and my home is nice and even though I’m 20 years old I’m certainly not ready to live on my own or to move just yet. I guess what I’m getting at is that being uncomfortable in your habitat is a good thing, it inspires productivity, and inspires dreaming and it inspires you to believe in yourself that you deserve a different life. However, that dream land, that dream life, isn’t in direct proportion to where you are. You can make your dreams come true and live your dream life ANYWHERE. Location should not be your motivation! And while I’ll miss smoothies at Evolution, and watching Andrew eat his weight’s worth in pastries, I know that I need to snap back to reality and really appreciate my life in Honolulu. Because it is just that, my life, I'm not in this random vacation sort of dream life. I'm also not depressed about leaving that much, I'll still day dream and still make future plans to go back! This time off was it exactly what I needed to prioritize my life and my universe in order to make this up coming semester do-able and completely dreamy.
Also I don’t know about yall, but vacations kinda get old fast… is that weird? Is that not a thing people think?
I hope you enjoy this song, and enjoy this post and all my other travel logs.
Let me know what you want to see from me next
and look forward to scheduled programming starting tomorrow!
Have a great day
and PLEASE keep it sassy,