2/14/13

Valentines Day oh Valentines Day. Featuring SHAWN

Valentines Day, oh Valentines Day.

February 14th is today and you know what that means? Love is in the air, greeting cards are being swapped and those obnoxious people calling the day “single’s awareness day” cannot be silenced.  Valentine's day is already here and while I’m wallowing in self pity and reblogging countless “forever alone” memes, I’m left reflecting about this very holiday that drives people like myself and my dear friend and contributing writer Shawn insane.

History
Saint Valentine's day, commonly known as Valentines Day,  “The Feast of Saint Valentine,” or “The over consumption of necco heart shaped pieces of chalk and red velvet flavored things that are saturated  with the overwhelming taste of rejection,” falls on the 14th of February.  It is the most celebrated holiday world-wide after New Years despite the majority of us still having to attend work and school. According to Wikipedia, (lets not kid ourselves, its where we all get our information), St. Valentine's Day began as a liturgical celebration of the Christian saint Valentinus, who was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers that were forbidden to marry and for ministering Christians that were persecuted under the Roman Empire. Blah blah blah skip forward a few hundred years to Geoffrey Chaucer in the high middle ages who was at the forefront of the tradition of Courtly Love. Courtly Love, not to be confused with Courtney Love the lead singer of awesome 90’s riot grrrl band Hole, is the medieval concept of nobly and chivalrously expressing love and admiration through flowers, sweet thangs and sending greeting cards ie the birth of this said holiday.

Years and years after this tradition handwritten letters have been traded in for hallmark cards and being single on the 14th has quickly turned into a date with Ben & Jerry with an extra dollup of sweatpants.  Valentines day has snowballed from simply showing your affection for those who you love with a handmade doodad, to a day where people equate self worth with whether or not you get a hot date out of the evening. WHY?!?

My Opinion
While sitting around my family dinner table I looked to all my sisters and their boyfriends and realized that I am the only single Hughes currently. I looked at the empty seat next to me and I got depressed, I wanna dreamboat boyfriend thing! But I’m a feminist, I’m successful, I broke up with my last boyfriend ie I chose to be single, I shouldn’t have such negative thoughts HOWEVER I am human, I am a girl and I have a mushy nougaty center.

As much as I don’t want to feed into our consumerist society especially when it comes to superfluous holidays I can’t help but eat it up so much that I land into a diabetic coma. At the end of the day I love Valentines day as much as I hate it, the candy, the frills, the doilies, the cards, the flowers, as you know by now, if my personal aesthetic was a holiday it would BE valentines day. I just can’t help it, for Christ sake pink and red are my favorite colors and hearts are my favorite shape! But aesthetic aside, if you strip down Valentines Day to the core, the intention is as beautiful as an edible arrangement,  it is a holiday dedicated to expressing your affection to those you love. In Kindergarten you used to give valentines to everyone in your class and I think we should keep this tradition now. Make tiny valentines and give them to EVERYONE you love, not just those you want to have the sex with. Two years ago I made 40 valentines to everyone on tumblr who didn’t have a valentine and to be honest I wish I could’ve continued doing that this year, however instead of online friends I’m gonna give them to friends I know in real life (only to save on postage). But that doesn’t mean that you aren’t totally allowed to steal my idea, GO FOR IT! I think that Valentines Day is a holiday that can easily make people feel bad about themselves, so why not take it into your hands and make it an amazing holiday for them! And heck, keep it going, there is never a bad time to be given a valentine, whether its February 15th, July 23rd, September 1st or February 14th, show someone who means a lot to you  that you care. Your 5-year-old self would be proud.

 Shawn's Opinion
I’m not trying to be a curmudgeon, but Valentine’s Day leaves me with severe anxiety and a tad bit of trepidation. It is for that reason, that I’m not the biggest fan of the holiday. I wish that Valentine’s Day made me feel like a hopeless romantic. I wish I could buy into the Hollywood endings depicted in Definitely, Maybe and Pretty Woman would come true. That, in the end, John Cusack would be standing outside MY window with a boom box raised above his head. However, with the brief dissolution of my parent’s marriage growing up, I feel completely and unrelentingly jaded. 
Let me preface, before I take my opinion further, that I do not dislike Valentine’s Day because I never had one as a child. Firstly, I was too busy wishing I was the pink power-ranger to be bothered and secondly, I had an abundance of valentines. Growing up I sported a sick bowl cut, coupled with my gnarly sweater-vest collection I naturally had a wide following of female suitors. No, my issues with this holiday don’t come from some dark place of child-hood loneliness. The issue I take with Valentine’s Day is that it has become a barometer for people to gauge their self-worth. It’s no longer a day that inspires people to celebrate love in the most genuine ways, but it is a day that people feel like their measure up- or stunted in their emotional development. 
In my perfect world (~*Shawn’s Perfect World~*) people would stop bragging about their Valentine’s plans and the people without them would stop proclaiming to everyone that they’ll be forever alone. I’ve been in college for three years and have yet to have a Valentine’s date. Instead, I enjoy rounding up my friends for Chinese take-out and Angelina Jolie in Girl, Interrupted. Angie is my Valentine! 
It’s my hope that if you’re reading this, and you’re single on Valentine’s Day, you won’t feel lonely. You’re surrounded by friends and neighbors who care about you. Round them up and lick chocolate off each other’s bodies! (What? Your friends won’t do that with you…?)
Relatedly, if you do have an exciting Valentine’s date planned- enjoy it! Relish it! Remember that it’s not the only day you need to show love. Also, don’t go overboard and buy things for your significant other like a giant teddy-bear. Where in the fuck do you expect them to keep that!?
You should expect love every day, that’s why I wait for John Cusack outside my window every single night.
John C, baby, call me maybe?


I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as Shawn and I enjoyed writing it
Let me know what your opinions on Valentines day are!
Have a wonderful Valentines day and please keep it loveydovey
xoxoxoxo
DayTerror & Sasssquatch

 CLICK HERE to read my interview with Shawn if you wanna learn more about him

1 comment:

  1. I actually post all these JB lyrics to my f ashion blogger crushes weird hey

    ReplyDelete