2/1/13

Sasssquatch's Guide To Love: Unrequited Love

Sasssquatch's Guide to LOVE:
Swooning and Unrequited Love

So I'm no expert on love myself, I've had four relationships all no longer than three months 
However in my final year of being a teenage girl I've racked up a fair amount of knowledge on the subject of oooey-gooey-nugety-filled LOVE. Now I will not get all Carrie Bradshaw on you, I'll try to keep my puns to a minimum, however I thought I'd make these posts just to give some people who are in a sinking love boat a life saver of advice (gross).

(ESPECIALLY BECAUSE ITS MY FAVORITE MONTH OF ALL TIME)


When dealing with unrequited love remember  this:
If the person that you fancy, doesn't want to be with you, then you DO NOT want to be with them

I know, I'm quite harsh but Im being upfront with you, hear me out first. If said girl or boy has a girlfriend, talks about all the people they wanna smash, tells you that you are like a family member or worse, doesn't give you the time of day IT IS TIME TO BACK AWAY FROM THE DOUCHEBAG.

Now that isn't to say that your crush is a douchebag, but what I'm trying to get across is, the sooner you stop swooning over someone who is taken, the better. It seems simple but really think, if they have a girlfriend, then they have a girlfriend, and no matter how much you like them, you need to respect that.

If they like you, you will know.

This you can tell from body language, for example, I think this boy in my french class is super dreamy, however his eye contact doesn't last, he's never made a point to talk to me outside of class and he never sits anywhere near me, signs point to no, he don't like me like dat. 

but you know what, its OKAY
Its important that you realize this early on though and don't get your feelings all convoluted and messy like a cat with a ball of string!
It stings for awhile but you know what, it's important to cut off your feelings earlier than later because you are beautiful, and you are kind, and you are funny and just because this dreamboat may not want you doesn't mean nobody will!

When you meet someone that you want to kiss its hard because feelings get so messy, feelings are kinda like a sugar high and at first" omg they are so cute and they are so sweet, but no they don't like me and my world is overrrrrr"

Calm down.

You are chill, you are calm, cool and collected.
Don't let anyone take advantage of your feelings and don't let your feelings take advantage of your friendships and state of mind and happiness.



2nd Point I want to make...

If you are on the other end of the spectrum I want to stress this: Don't be a Claire:
(the name was obviously changed for personal reasons, and I'm sure she wouldn't have any clue that this is about her anyway, or that she reads my blog lol)
I had this friend in high school, he was shy, not supremely confident and had the biggest crush on this girl, Claire. Well, Claire knew that and proceeded to lead him on throughout their entire middle school and high school careers, agreeing to go on dates but then always being busy, flirting with him the second he started showing interest in someone else but then dissing him the second she got his interest back.

Whatever your sex is, DON'T BE A CLAIRE. She was unfair and cruel for the only reason that she could, and frankly I think thats messed up. 

That being said, I know that letting someone who likes you down sucks, but there is a way to do it without A) breaking their heart like the Brady boys break vases and B) Leading them on forever

As passive aggressive as this sounds, if you can tell one of your friends fancies you and you don't return the feelings don't make things awkward, just start hinting about people you are interested in and don't give them the bait. If they actually tell you their feelings, be very appreciative and thankful but explain to them that you are not the right person for them yaddy yadda, just make sure that you follow up the next day to make sure your friendship isn't totally ruined.

I can guarantee if you handle the situation like that then act like nothing happened between you two the next day you'll be able to salvage your relationship and they'll get over you in good time. However if they need space, respect that as well.

Last and final thing I would like to mention:
 "love" is a two way street
so as much as you care for this dreamboat and as deep as your feelings are, don't waste that word on someone who wouldn't say it about you.
When you meet the right person for you, which you will, and he loves and respects you just as much as you do to him, the love will start flowing like an erupting volcano.
I'm not trying to imply that unrequited love is illegitimate, I just know that when I was dealing with unrequited love and I'd say "BUT I LOVE HIM" I feel kinda silly now after experiencing feelings from both ways.

Don't worry you will get through this pussy cats I promise!

Leave any other love type questions in the comments below or in my tumblr ask box.
Have a great day
and Please keep it lovey-dovey
xoxoxo
Sasssquatch

5 comments:

  1. Good advices. I won't need them, but good advices. And in the photo you seem so professional!

    ps. I love the new background of your blog. Because it's new, isn't it? Or I have some memory problems??

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  2. Very smart advice here, girl.

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  3. Yes! Very good advice and delivered in a friendly way!

    I'd like to add something about turning a friend down (from personal experience):

    If a friend tells you they like you but you don't like them the same way it is definitely best to turn them down gently but then if you really do still want to be friends with them BE FRIENDS WITH THEM. I know it sounds obvious but I once confessed to a guy who just wanted to be friends and instead of just moving on would come up to me when I was with other friends, ignore me completely, then stare at me for a good five minutes. If I didn't know better I'd think he was the one with the crush. Anyway, acting like that made me feel much worse than the rejection and it definitely meant the friendship was over. Worst still because I'm a shy, gentle type it made him look like a douche in front of our friends (which was the last thing I wanted out of the experience).

    So yes, if you both agree to be friends, take the time you need to get over the pressure of turning them down / shock of being turned down then BE FRIENDS. Don't continue to 'teach' them that you're not interested as it will only backfire on you like it would backfire on them if they agreed to just be friends and continued to pursue you.

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  4. I love your blogging style so much! And you give such marvelous advice!!

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