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My Boyband Boyfrands.

Sasssquatch's Boy band Boyfrands
I was brought into this world in 1993, meaning I am a child of the 90's meaning, I was raised on boybands. If you are unaware, a "boy band" is a musical group full of dreamy dudes that sing in harmony who fill the middle school lockers with their posters from J-14 and Tigerbeat magazine. Having three sisters we each had to have our own boy-band-boy-frand and there was absolutely no sharing (it was the one thing we didn't have to share). So I thought I'd share with you guys my boyband boyfrands over the 20 years of my life.

1) Brian Littrell from Backstreet Boys 
Oh Brian. Brian, Brian, Brian. My first love. I saw him during a Backstreet boys live concert on Disney Channel. My sister Devon yelled "SHUUUUSHHH, BACKSTREET BOYS ARE ON," and we were silent. We watched them in their foil looking pants, dancing in a syncopated rhythm to hits like "Backstreet's Back" and "Everybody," I was in a state of bewilderment. I thought "WHO ARE THESE BOYS!?! AND WHY DO I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!?!?" Now I don't quite remember choosing Brian, it was almost as if he chose me, but from that day forward BRIAN was my crush and my first love.
To be fair, at that young of an age, I sorta just went a long with what my sisters were doing, but hey, even at age 4 I knew that Brian was better looking that AJ, (amIrightoramIright)

To this day I still know all of the words to their songs, however I havent bought any of their records since 2003.

Yeah, I rocked my body to this, my 4 year old-overall wearing-baby tooth missing body.
When you're that young you don't know what "sexual" means, and you don't know how to dance so you just hop around a lot. 

In retrospect this video is super cracked out, but whatever, I got jiggy with it.

2) Chris Kirkpatrick from *Nsync
This is when shit got real, Backstreet Boys had been on the scene for a little while then BAM, this new band appeared. They were called *Nsync and they quickly wormed their way into our hearts faster than  hostess snack cakes. However, in the sister pecking order, I was last and for some reason, I was FORCED to have Chris Kirkpatrick as my *Nsync boyfriend. Devon got JC, Kelsey got JT, Hayley got Lance, and I was stuck with Chris (no one wanted Joey).  I WAS DEVASTATED, I wanted JT with his ramen noodle hair, but instead I got stuck with Chris and his weird dreads and braces. 
So I had to say "ooh he's so cute" while I was dying inside.

Some might think that this would've jaded me from all *Nsync later on in my boyband loving heart,
but I beg to differ.

Despite having a better boyfrand in BackStreet Boys, to this day, I will say that *Nsync was more talented and had better hits.
Maybe that has to do with the fact that I was a bit older when I started listening to them but something about their looks, the actual concepts for their music videos or maybe just the vocals themselves but they were THE boyband. I mean look at that music video, was that made for little girls OR WHAT! I LOVE DOLLS.
And can we talk about power couple, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, BE STILL MY TEENGIRL HEART UGHHHH

3) Taylor Hanson from Hanson
A band of three mormon brothers hopped on the scene in the mid 90's, known as "Hanson," these boys  were everywhere, including the Ego Waffle boxes, however baby Caelan was NOT impressed. My 5 year old mind thought that with their long 90's locks that they were TRYING to be girls and I got confused. However with *Nsync breaking up around 2003, I was left without any boybands for quite some time. Then three years later, I learned about loving things "ironically" and how that means you can get away with liking anything you like and still be cool. And my rightful love for Hanson was born, Devon deemed them uncool in the 90's but now was my turn to properly enjoy them as I should've.


Its really super sweet actually, because even though they havent had as big of a hit since "Mmmbop" they are still together as a band, going on tour with their momo wives and millions of children.
Plus Taylor got really secksi.
I approve Hanson, and I will keep buying your music to this day because I think you guys are really very talented.

4) Nick Jonas from The Jonas Brothers
Nick Jonas, WHAT A HUNK. To be fair, I also think Joe Jonas is the bomb, and Kevin....well he is for every friend who got last pick. At this point in my life, my sister were long over boybands, but I still secretly loved them. I was in their target demographic! I WAS 13 YEARS OLD GODDAMNIT AND THEY WERE CUTE.
They wrote songs, they straightened their hair, they made catchy music, THEY WERE THE HANSON OF THE MID 2000'S and I was hooked. Although I still pretended to like them ironically, you best believe I had dreams about them and ti-voed their concert on Disney Channel. 
They were just really very cute and their music is so cute.


 Don't even pretend right now that you don't love this music video.

But their downfall was getting too involved with Disney Channel.
Their TV show was stupid and all those Camp Rock movies sucked.
I really have a feeling in my bones that Nick and Joe (no one cares about Kevin) will have some sort of comeback because they are TOO cute and TOO talented to fade into obscurity.

5) Zayn Malik From ONE DIRECTION
OH ZAYN MALIK.
First off let me start off by saying Happy Birthday sweet prince.
Zayn Malik is in One Direction, the latest THING in boy band history.
They are all really cute but lets be honest, Zayn Malik owns the thrown. He's British, he's secksi, he has tattoos, he has BEAUTIFUL bone structure UNF I WANT HIM TO BE MINE.


LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE!!! GAHHHH!!!!
I've known about One Direction for a little while, and I have to be honest, I love them. Their music is so catchy and so cute, I just recently bought their two albums and have been listening to them incessantly. Although I always skip over the slow songs, no, only the catchy teeny-bopper ones will do, okay? Zayn is the most talented, he literally is my IDEAL man. It hurts my heart thinking about how I don't actually know him.
SWOOOON SWOOOON SWOOOON I JUST FUCKING LOVE HIM.



Some might give me flack and say, "Caelan, why do you like boybands THIS MUCH," and I have one answer for you. Boyband pop music makes me feel good. I think it releases endolphins in my head or something because I physically feel better listening to it. These boys are cute and they reiterate that I'm special, I'm worth singing about and how I need to have self confidence.
Of course, its not the most feminist thing in the world, but frankly I don't give a fuck

I will NEVER be a music snob ever.
If I like something, I will fucking listen to it and if you can't accept that
baiiii.
It also makes me a less judgmental person, because I understand that people do what they do because it makes them happy and you should never judge anyone for that.

So with that, who are YOUR boyband boyfriends???
Let me know down below
have a great day
and PLEASE, keep it sassy,
xoxoxoxo
Sasssquatch
aka
Caelan Littrell
Caelan Kirkpatrick
Caelan Hanson
Caelan Jonas
Mrs. Caelan Malik

9 comments:

  1. UMMM EXCUSE ME GIRLFRAN BUT NICK J IS MINE FOR ETERNITY.
    I used to write love letters to him and make wishes that he would fly down with a helicopter and take me to Jonas land and we'd get married. And whenever I'm like "Yeah, I used to have the biggest crush on Nick Jonas!!" people are like "Everyone did!" and then I'm like "NO I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL EVER LOVE NICK LIKE I DID! DON'T EVEN GO THEREE GUYYS!!!
    NICK AND ME R DESTINED 2 B 2GETHER OK

    E+N 5EVER

    sometimes i still listen to JoBro music (particularly the best album ever, A Little Bit Longer) and watch MARRIED TO JONAS and they will always have their place in my heartz <3 <3

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  2. mine are as follows
    1. Kevin Richardson
    2. Lance Bass
    3. Zak Hanson
    4. Kevin Jonas
    5. not really a 1D fan

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  3. Ahhh! Call me a freak but I LOVE the Everybody video. It appeals to my gothic horror heart!

    I was born in the 1980s so my first boyband memory is of New Kids on the Block(!!!!) I especially remember Hang Tough http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By86PcLufOU but the big boyband for my generation was a British group called Take That. They broke up in 1996 which destroyed everyone (including me) but they reformed in 2005 which was really weird as a new generation were getting into them who weren't even born when they were around the first time lol Robbie Williams came from Take That and I remember as a Take That fan you either loved him or hated him for going solo. I really liked / still like his solo stuff. I'm really glad Gary Barlow is finally getting the fame and following he deserves though (he wrote most of Take That's songs and is a song genius). I don't know what my favourite early Take That song is...they're all great!

    Other bands I remember liking were Boyzone (but not Westlife), Busted and McFly. I had a friend who was obsessed over 5ive.

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  4. This is such a great post! Ugh I hated Kevin so much and I loved Nick and Joe. But I could not watch any video clip because Kevin was in it and he was like look at me i am cute too love me please! And Zayn is cute. Also thank you for the sweet comment on my blog <3 xx

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  5. Oh goodness don't even get me started on One Direction and *NSync. And the Jonas Brothers - Nick was my all-time favorite and he still holds a place in my heart. Boy Bands are a gift from the gods, no doubt about that! Such a great post! I love it! :D

    www.ee2be.wordpress.com

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  6. OMG YES BRIAN! Though in that old photo he looks..... robotic? Towards the end of their "run" as a boy band I started liking Nick too. But just barely.... Brian had a certain... something. You know! "Everybody" was my favorite song/video for months!!! I was OBSESSED with them and hated N*Sync at first because I felt too loyal to BSB. But then I started liking them eventually after BSB left the scene. (I liked AJ and Justin).
    Don't get me started on Hanson... I dreamed of Taylor every night for years (This was my first boy band obsession) and wanted his babies.

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  7. *gasp* AJ was so good looking!!! He was my first huge crush. ;) I was just watchin' the Everybody video the other day during one of my 90's-pop-nostalgia binges.

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  8. The middle person in HANSON is totally Hilary Duff

    xx Domenic

    http://www.stylehuntingclub.com/

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