The Secret.

Today I met up with my friend Bianca and we had some serious talk today
In true Romy and Michelle fashion, we feel like we should have our lives figured out, we should be finding jobs and eating "business women special," instead my parents are still paying for my schooling, I work retail and I achieved anything major yet. 

We both graduated last year and have been having similar existential crisis', and hopefully we aren't the only ones.
Since the dawn of time people always ask you What do you want to be when you are older? 
That question never seems to get stale for those who are asking mindless redundant parrots who keep asking, whether they are fellow children on the playground, your career councilor or  your parents the question will never end.

and being the person that I am, I usually have an answer
The professions I've considered starting from when I was 5 till I was 19 are as followed: Scientist, Lawyer, Marine Biologist, Model (HAHA), Actress,  Photographer, Fashion Designer, Fashion journalist, Photographer, Fashion Photographer, Produce Exporter, and back to Fashion Journalist. 

What I want to do is fashion journalism, I mean ideally, I wish I could get paid to blog, (I don't really believe in ads) but that is the rough goal.

I've been constantly going back and fourth between career options and constantly worried about what I'll end up doing and if I'll be happy doing it
I know I'll be stuck in Hawaii for the next 3 years (assuming it takes me 4 years to graduate) minus a semester to study abroad. But this really concerns me, I want to have a good job and a foot in the door of the fashion industry but I'm worried that being here is a huge disadvantage.

I just want to be done with my degree and be in LA or NY already, but now I'm considering transferring to a fashion school or an art school...I'm totally lost

Bianca has no clue what she wants to do and is equally lost in terms of whether she wants leave still or what school would be good.

We have no clue, I just have faith that things will work out and hopefully, as childish as this sounds I know someday my dreams will come true.

I remember the summer of 07' that I spent the entire thing in NY, I stood in front of the Condé Nast building and just looked up.

This is where so many magazines were being written as I stood their aghast. This is where dreams came true (Not Disneyland contrary to popular belief) and I just got so overwhelmed. 
I knew this is the place to make stuff happen.
There was a good chance that Anna Wintour was working as little 14 year old me was just standing in front of the door while people rushed into the building and out of the building like tiny worker ants going in an out of this giant ant hill, this giant fashionable ant hill. And if all those people are ants than I was microscopic. 

I haven't been back since, but I hope the next time I go there, it is for something like a job interview or something fabulous... it just has to be. 

Whenever I start thinking about my future or what is going to happen and I begin to worry, I try to remember the wonderful words of Max Fisher (Jason Schwartzman) in the film Rushmore, in a dialouge between him and Herman Blume (Bill Murray) 

Herman: Whats the secret, Max?
Max: The secret?
Herman: Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out?
Max: The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then...do it for the rest of your life. For me, its going to Rushmore

and for me, Max Fisher, its writing this blog
I wish you all luck finding out what you love and for all your professional endeavors 

Have a lovely day,
Good luck
and Please,
Keep it Sassy,


  1. I'm sure that your dreams will come true. And I'm sure that we will meet in NY some day: you will be a famous fashion journalist and I will work for the UN...

  2. OMG Caelan, you are waaaaaayyyyyyyyy too young to have your life even remotely figured out. You're a year out of high school!! A tiny, overachieving percentage of the population has their life planned at that age, and most of the people who seem to have a plan will without a doubt change it in the next five years.

    If it makes you feel better: I am 30, have an Associates degree in Liberal Arts that I got with the intention of continuing on to a Bachelor's before I got sick of school and said eff that, so basically I have a degree in nothing, I live with my boyfriend and make my own money but I make a pretty small salary managing a consignment shop and have worked retail my entire life, and am pretty sure I want to write novels but totally get off track about 50 times a year and usually am not able to actually write more than three paragraphs a week.

    But I'll figure it out, and I have faith in the path my life is on, and in my ability to (eventually!!) be doing what I really want.